Difficulties are inevitable and happen for a reason. "I don’t know what to do” can be interpreted as “I don’t want to know what to do” or “I don’t want to make a decision” or “I don’t want to be responsible or my life.” To get to know something, you need to search for the possible ways out.
Unfortunately, in such situations the majority of people ask themselves 3 question, which they shouldn’t ask:
- What's wrong with me?
- Why did it happen to me?
- What will happen if the worst comes to the worst?
Did you notice that sometimes you feel a desire to blame others for your mistakes, problems, and failures and imagine the catastrophic consequences of the problem. In order to avoid them, you need to take control in your hands. Keep in simple and start from the following questions:
#1 HOW WILL THE DECISION INFLUENCE ME?
There are two sub-questions you need to ask yourself:
- How will I feel about it when I will do it? The mind is one of the most powerful weapons you have. Imagination is the expression of your mind. Imagine yourself when as if you’ve already made your decision. How does it make you feel? How do you see yourself? Do you like yourself? Does it really make you happy?
- How will I feel about it when I won’t do it? Sometimes feelings play cruel jokes with us. There is nothing worse than thinking about the unfulfilled wish. You hear people say: “I wish I did it when I was younger…” or “I wish I didn’t spend time in vain…” I wish…So many “I wish…” Probably you have your own. Don’t you? After all, it is pointless to think about lost hours of yesterdays.
"I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences... I'm human, not perfect, like anybody else." - Queen Latifah
"I don't regret anything I've ever done. I only wish I could have done more." - Mickey Rooney
# 2 HOW WILL THE DECISION INFLUENCE OTHERS?
Do you think your decision might upset someone?
Let’s face reality, you cannot be nice to everyone. Nice people tend to be indecisive. You can hear them say: “Doesn’t matter,” “I don’t care.” If you noticed that you do it, please, for your sake, take control of your life into your hands.
There are always will be people who will envy you, criticize, or blame you for what you did or didn't do.
The best advice I ever heard: “Be who you are and say what you feel because people who mind don’t matter and people who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss
The same concerns decisions. Think less about the whole humankind, care more about the people who you love and who love you. It is all about prioritizing. Put your family and close people first. They are the people you should think about when you make a decision. How will it influence them?
# 3 WHAT STOPS ME FROM MAKING THE DECISION?
Unknown scares, right? Failures and disappointments hurt and make us unconfident and indecisive.
All your life consist of small decisions which make a significant and growing picture. Every difficult decision you make determines your present and future. The more important the decision is the harder to make it.
Whatever you will decide – do it. And don’t question your decision. The more you postpone it, the more you live in anxiety and tension. Sometimes in order to make a decision you need to get out of your comfort zone. Our doubts are our traitors. They make ourselves miserable and exhausted even after making the decision. So, once the decision is made just let it be and make the best out of it.Small recommendation: for better result write down your thoughts and feelings. The structured ideas help to see a better picture. Sometimes its hard to be totally open even with the people you love. But you can be open with yourself. Be honest and sincere. Write down what you feel and what bothers you. In fact, nothing is that complicated. You make it complicated because you don’t know what to do. But no one, except you, can help you.
Remember: There are no “right” or “wrong” decisions. In fact, any decision is better than indecision.
What questions do you usually ask yourself before making a tough decision?
What was the hardest decision you’ve ever made?
Please, share your story and advice below. Thank you!